Now that you’ve left, what next?
- Give yourself space
- It’s okay to have doubts
- It’s okay to not go to church yet
- Find people who can build you up. Lean on them.
Give yourself space
You will most likely go through intense emotions from relief, to sorrow, to lightness, to confusion.
It’s going to be a long time before your life feels normal. A lot of what you’ve known for probably many years is now torn away. For years, you imagined a certain life for yourself, but now that’s no longer the path you’re going to walk. While in Gracepoint, you were in a high structure environment where “right” and “wrong” was clearly laid out for you, but now that you’re out, you’ll have to decide a lot more things for yourself.
Acknowledge how hard this is. Tell yourself it’s OKAY to feel all the feelings and not know what to do with them. All we can say is: you aren’t alone. Many have been in your shoes. You’ll make it through!
It’s okay to have doubts
Just because you have doubts doesn’t mean you’ve made a wrong decision. Trust that your past self did due diligence.
Again, acknowledge how hard this all is. It’s painful to say goodbye to good friendships and cherished memories. Many of us first experienced the joy of the gospel and the joy of being a minister at Gracepoint. It’s okay to name all the good things about Gracepoint that you miss. But also consider again why you left, and after comparing the two, see where the scale tips.
It’s okay to not go to church yet
This sounds scandalous at first, but seriously: it’s okay, and probably good, to not immediately jump into searching for another church.
For many, being in a church may be triggering and may not feel like a safe space. Your priority after leaving is to find healing and closure, and jumping right back into church can get in the way of that, especially if you jump in for the wrong reasons.
If you desire to immediately find a church, consider whether it is out of love for God and wanting to love others vs. wanting to prove to Gracepoint people that you’re still a committed Christian who is spiritually thriving.
If you still want to find a church ASAP, just consider taking it slow and don’t rush into new friendships. Feel free to come late, sit in the back, and leave early. Don’t worry about serving for a little while. And remember, you don’t need to give anyone (especially someone you just met) an explanation of your situation. For example: if someone from church invites you over for a bible study or dinner, but you’re not ready for that yet, you can respond with something like, “Thank you, I really appreciate the invite, but I’m kind of going through some personal stuff, so I’m not ready for something like that yet” or perhaps more simply, “Thank you, I appreciate the invite, but I think I need to stay at home to rest today.” Again, it’s up to you how much you want to share. If someone won’t respect that, especially someone who just met you, then that might be a sign to walk in the other direction.
Find people who can build you up. Lean on them.
If you have healthy relationships with family & friends, lean on them. Spend quality time with them. Find joy in knowing you are loved.
Consider therapy. You don’t have to tell anyone. With a professional therapist, you get a neutral opinion as well as guaranteed confidentiality, both of which can be hard to come by otherwise. Often, a therapist just helps put into words what you already know & feel, which can be really valuable if you feel like you’re stuck. Even just a single session could make a difference.
- [todo: add links/resources?]
👉 If you’re up for it, we’d invite you to connect with us! Get Connected