Gracepoint started in 1981 as Berkland Baptist Church in Berkeley, California, as a church in the Southern Baptist Convention denomination. The church changed its name to Gracepoint in 2006 when Ed and Kelly Kang split from the founders. Gracepoint has since expanded to ~100 sites, primarily in college towns.
It runs various on-campus student groups such as Acts2Fellowship (A2F), Koinonia, Klesis, MakeNew, International Graduate Student Ministry (IGSM), Visiting Scholar Ministry (VSM), and many more.
It also runs Joyland (Children’s Ministry), Impact (Youth Ministry), InterHigh (High School Ministry), and various other ministries.
Below is a hypothetical experience based on several dozen testimonies. Your actual experience will be different in many ways.
- What’s it like at Gracepoint?
- But what is it really like at Gracepoint?
- What happens to you?
- Who do you become?
What’s it like at Gracepoint?
It’s your freshman year, welcome week at Cal. You never knew church could look like this!
Amazing food. Bible studies that you can actually relate to. 20-something year old adults wanting to get to know you. All while being surrounded by smart, really smart, educated people. Academics and professionals. All living out the gospel as a united body of Christ.
Every other student group you check out feels immature and poorly organized by comparison.
Entering college and living away from home is a huge life transition. How fortunate it is that you stumbled upon this safe place with older people you can trust. A place you to anchor your life in the midst of all the change.
But what is it really like at Gracepoint?
After the honeymoon stage of freshman year passes, you begin to fully appreciate what a spiritually thriving church Gracepoint is. There are people being saved seemingly every Sunday, sharing their heartfelt testimonies as they accept or reaffirm their commitment to Christ. Pastor Ed’s messages move you and give you a new understanding of God’s word. Passages you’ve heard a hundred times in the past surprise you with new understanding in the context of sermons and bible studies. You start to see your peers as not just friends, but brothers and sisters and envision doing life together even after graduating.
Around this time, you also notice some peculiarities. Events are increasingly separated by gender, and you notice little things, like when organizing rides, guys and girls never ride together. Dating is technically not “not allowed,” but nobody does it. Strange…in a community of hundreds of 18-21 year olds, nobody wants to date? Well, of course they want to date, but they willingly deny themselves for the sake of focusing on their same-gender relationships first and not risking causing strife in the community as dating often does (especially those ending in a breakup).
Beyond dating, you also notice a lot of people talk similarly, using words like “oh my” and “hurting” and “convicted” in ways that are peculiar to this community. You notice how cool it is that all of the leadership seems to be home-grown: people just like yourself, just a bit older. Maybe it’s weird that nobody is hired from outside the church, but maybe it’s not weird. Who am I to judge that, anyway?
You notice that every wedding you attend feels exactly the same. The exact same structure, the same “Normal VS” video, and often the same venue. No first kiss, no first dance — in fact, no dancing at all — no wine, and the music & officiant are always from the church. But who cares? This is all super minor stuff. Trivial, compared to the salvation of souls.
What happens to you?
As time goes on, you begin to realize your identity is more and more tied to this church and its congregation. Your friend circle is almost entirely comprised of Gracepoint friends now, as it is increasingly harder to relate with friends outside this particular church. Your sense of right and wrong is shaped by the discipleship of your spiritual leaders. But that’s not a bad thing, necessarily, right? This is the place you were saved, and your leaders are more mature than you and care about you (as they’ve shown over years of pouring out love for you). It just makes sense to trust their judgment over even your own.
Little corrections start sneaking in. These things aren’t technically sin, but they’re a sign of underlying sinful desires or just otherwise “unwise”:
- not attending a church event without specifying a “good enough” reason in advance
- spending too much time with your spouse/kids
- dating while in undergrad, or even after graduating, if your leader decides you aren’t mature enough yet
- dating anyone who isn’t already a regular member of Gracepoint
- spending any time alone with anyone of the opposite gender
- living with anyone outside the church or living with fewer than 3 other people when you’re single
- not wearing enough makeup or wearing too much makeup.
- being too excited about a hobby, like art
- not having the right posture while praying
- not tithing enough (you are expected to share your finances when asked)
- listening to non-Christian music
- playing video games, even in moderation
- owning a pet (nobody owns a dog)
You take it all in stride. It’s just all part of Christian discipleship and being shaped into who God wants you to be. Individually, these things are hills not worth dying on. Sure, you grew up around dogs and you’ve always wanted a dog, and nobody will stop you from adopting a dog, but is it worth risking disapproval from your leaders? They’ll rightly point out that a dog takes away time and attention from ministry. This must just be another selfish, worldly desire that must be avoided.
Before long, it seems like there is no area of your life that is outside your leader’s authority to pass judgment. But this is all part of “whole life discipleship,” which sounds pretty biblical to you. You’ve trusted your leaders with the small things, so why not trust them with the big things, too?
Who do you become?
Ten years after graduating college, you have a rare moment of true self-reflection while on a family vacation away from Gracepoint. You look in the mirror and see someone who:
- has cultivated a habit of daily prayer and reflection
- can quote scripture in conversation without even thinking
- has no shortage of fruitful ministry opportunities, and has a long history of ministry to look back at fondly
- has lifelong friends (and perhaps a spouse) who share your values
- has trusted leaders older than you who you can consult for anything and everything
but you are also someone who
- frequently corrects younger members’ behaviors, the same way you have been corrected
- no longer has meaningful relationships with anyone outside of Gracepoint. Spending time with someone outside Gracepoint only makes sense in the context of evangelism. Otherwise, it is a waste of time.
- misses hobbies you used to enjoy, then feel guilty about those desires
- lives in tension as your heart feels something is “off,” but everyone you trust tells you it’s just your worldly desires and pride trying to lead you astray
- can’t imagine a life outside Gracepoint, because it permeates everything you are
You’re not naive. You know there are “anti-Gracepoint” blogs & posts out there written by former members, but they just don’t match your experience. You see how Pastor Ed and Kelly are genuinely hurt by these accusations. As a church full of sinners, of course people will get hurt, but that doesn’t mean they have to try to slander a church where so many are being saved. The authors are probably just people too proud to repent or receive correction.
And so you stay, knowing that as much as it hurts inside, at least you know you’re on a good path. You’ll have good friends, you have a fruitful ministry, you have (or will find) a faithful spouse, and you know you’ll be saved. You have a moral framework for right and wrong, which anchors your life, even if the day-to-day life is hard. Staying at Gracepoint, you know you’ll have these things, whereas leaving Gracepoint, you’d have to give it all up.
All you can do is hope and pray the tension and doubt will go away. For many, it will. For many, it already has.
But at what cost?
👉 Continue to next article: How Gracepoint operates
